[ the simple fact of it all is that she loves yukari. of course she loves yukari. but the lines between types of love are often blurry at best, and she had wanted to avoid muddling them further with her, especially with the painful absence of the person kotone cares for most.
so much for that.
kotone's fingers tighten their grip, until finally, she breaks off the kiss. realization takes hold. her grip on yukari releases in an instant, almost as if she'd been burned. ]
I—Yukari, that was—
[ she doesn't know what to say. it wasn't a mistake, necessarily, and she enjoyed it but surely they both know why this can't— ]
[ of course she knows. this is...bad in so many ways, each more serious than the last. this--them, together as something more than friends--can't happen. and even if it could, it certainly won't be now.
regardless, the knowledge doesn't ease the ache in her chest at the suddenness of kotone's recoil. ]
Yeah. [ she swallows hard, hoping it'll remove the lifeless tone in her voice, and takes a large step backwards. ] It...I--
[ i'm sorry i'm sorry god i'm so sorry ]
We...shouldn't. [ a beat before she continues, ] Stay here, I mean. It probably isn't much safer here than at the Hall.
[ if yukari can move them past her mistake fast enough, there won't enough time to linger on possibilities or regrets. and they can pretend nothing's changed a while longer. ]
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so much for that.
kotone's fingers tighten their grip, until finally, she breaks off the kiss. realization takes hold. her grip on yukari releases in an instant, almost as if she'd been burned. ]
I—Yukari, that was—
[ she doesn't know what to say. it wasn't a mistake, necessarily, and she enjoyed it but surely they both know why this can't— ]
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regardless, the knowledge doesn't ease the ache in her chest at the suddenness of kotone's recoil. ]
Yeah. [ she swallows hard, hoping it'll remove the lifeless tone in her voice, and takes a large step backwards. ] It...I--
[ i'm sorry i'm sorry god i'm so sorry ]
We...shouldn't. [ a beat before she continues, ] Stay here, I mean. It probably isn't much safer here than at the Hall.
[ if yukari can move them past her mistake fast enough, there won't enough time to linger on possibilities or regrets. and they can pretend nothing's changed a while longer. ]