"Than you deserve"? Minako, what are you talking about? You deserve-- [everything.] --people who care about you. At the funeral--!
[yukari stops speaking abruptly and looks to the side with a grimace. she hated the word 'funeral'. too many people she had known or cared about had already had a funeral too early. and besides, she couldn't bear to think about minako's even though more than a year had passed since then.]
[ she might've been tempted to make a flippant joke about her funeral earlier, but. right now, something about the idea of other people having their lives interrupted to mourn a girl they hadn't known long who certainly didn't warrant the grief or the trouble has her stomach tying up in knots.
there's... nothing on minako's face besides how very fucking tired she is. she doesn't know how to hold this back anymore. and yet she laughs, letting go of yukari's hand and resting the flat of the other across her brow, rubbing her eyes. ]
I'm a disgusting person, Yukari, I was always so scared you or the others would see it. [ and she backs up a little. ] I kept clinging onto anyone who paid me even a little bit of attention, and I didn't care if I burned up from getting too close [ ryoji. ] or just dragged them down with me...
[ it doesn't matter that it's irrational, that it twists what happened, that it leaves out so much of the good she's done. it's how it feels, so much of the time. ]
[hearing the words "a disgusting person" makes yukari's chest squeeze so tightly, she almost forgets how to breathe. there's a long moment as she considers how she can even begin to respond. finally,]
We all hold on to people we care about, even if we know it'll hurt. It's even scarier to put yourself out there when you don't feel like you're worth anything.
...but you taught me that our relationships are the most important things we have. So even if you think you're disgusting, [yukari takes a step toward her,] you're my best friend, Minako. No matter what.
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what is there to even thank her for? if they weren't already deep in this she'd play it off, or say it was nothing, but... ]
I should be thanking you. Yukari, I-- until I met you all, I didn't have anyone. You were so much better to me than I ever deserved.
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[yukari stops speaking abruptly and looks to the side with a grimace. she hated the word 'funeral'. too many people she had known or cared about had already had a funeral too early. and besides, she couldn't bear to think about minako's even though more than a year had passed since then.]
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there's... nothing on minako's face besides how very fucking tired she is. she doesn't know how to hold this back anymore. and yet she laughs, letting go of yukari's hand and resting the flat of the other across her brow, rubbing her eyes. ]
I'm a disgusting person, Yukari, I was always so scared you or the others would see it. [ and she backs up a little. ] I kept clinging onto anyone who paid me even a little bit of attention, and I didn't care if I burned up from getting too close [ ryoji. ] or just dragged them down with me...
[ it doesn't matter that it's irrational, that it twists what happened, that it leaves out so much of the good she's done. it's how it feels, so much of the time. ]
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We all hold on to people we care about, even if we know it'll hurt. It's even scarier to put yourself out there when you don't feel like you're worth anything.
...but you taught me that our relationships are the most important things we have. So even if you think you're disgusting, [yukari takes a step toward her,] you're my best friend, Minako. No matter what.
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finally: ]
It's not what I think, that's not... it's just how it felt. How it feels.
[ she clutches the back of yukari's top, doing her level best to avoid crying. so far so good, but like, barely. ]
All of you meant everything to me. You know that, right?
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Totally. You meant everything to us. You still do, honestly.
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Being on the other end of this feels really weird.
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