[yukari never gave much thought to why their friendship was the way it was. it just was what it was. her friends outside of S.E.E.S. had teased her relentlessly. 'are we hanging out or do you have another date with your girlfriend?' 'don't ask her about the boy who just went by, she's texting arisato-san, you know how she gets.' 'we all know you're taken, takeba.'
sure, she and minako were intense, but yukari liked it that way. she more than liked it. moments like these--just them enjoying each other--she lived for them.
and that intoxicating, giddy feeling whenever she saw minako scared her to death.
yukari is quiet for some time. her voice is quiet when she says,] I told you that you don't have to apologize for anything, Minako. Ever. Things just....
[ she had heard her fair share of it whispered behind her back, too. never the prevailing opinion in any serious sense, she knew she had been pretty well-liked, but. kids are cruel. rumors always spread.
'don't hang around arisato, she's...' 'have you seen how she acts with that bitch hasegawa' 'look at her taking up sanada-senpai's time, what a...' 'why does she put up with iwasaki anyway?' 'it's arisato, you know why' 'what are arisato and yamagishi doing in there after school anyway? there isn't a club meeting...' 'i saw takeba-san and arisato alone at wuck yesterday...' 'really? i saw them at the arcade last weekend' 'why is kirijo-senpai so friendly with her? you don't think...' 'what does mochizuki-kun even see in her, what does she have that i don't??' 'hey, do you see how arisato and aigis look at each other?'
she exhales, pulling yukari a little closer, one hand stroking her hair now. this is intimate as hell but she doesn't fucking care. ]
I know. [ life never works out how you expect it to. ] I want that for you, too. So... what's going on in your life? Seriously.
[alright, deep breaths. she can do this. it's just small talk while her friend is stroking her hair. no biggie.]
Well, I'm in college now. Somehow Aigis and Mitsuru got me through exams, [she answers with a weak laugh.] My adviser won't let me forget I haven't picked a major yet, though. It's just been busy between classes and my part-time job. []there's the briefest of sheepish pauses before she continues,] I'm a model. And my agency got me an audition for Phoenix Featherman R so.... Crazy, right?
[ she's quiet at first, just listening. sorry for what she's missed, happy they all managed to move on and get something normal going-- but then. ]
Oh my god? Yukari-- [ that gets her excited. pride, a little amazement--minako wraps her up in a hug as well as she can for just a moment, laughing and eyes lit up. ]
That's amazing! I bet you're doing great. [i wish i could be there to see it, she refrains from saying, it's not the time ] Does Ken know you're auditioning yet? And did you narrow down choices for a major at all? [ not chastising, not probing, just genuine curiosity about her friend's life. ]
[minako's excitement is infectious and yukari can't help grinning from ear to ear. the whole process of getting the script from her agency had been so fast that it hadn't hit her she might get to be on tv yet. regularly, even. holy crap.] You haven't seen anything I've done! Thank you, though.
You're the first person I've told about the audition, actually. I don't want to get people excited now to have to break bad news to them later. I'm totally letting Ken know once they let me know. Oh, my god, he's going to flip, [she laughs.] As for major, maybe journalism? All the classes I've taken are fun, but it'd be hard to balance with work....
Oh man--Yukari Takeba, intrepid journalist for Mainichi Shimbun by day, Feather Flamingo by night! [ she laughs and practically squeals a little in excitement, pulling back just enough to place her hands on yukari's shoulders. ]
Look, whatever you end up doing--you're gonna be amazing, okay? I've seen you at your best, I'd know.
[yukari's face goes red and grin turns goofy. she hadn't been on the receiving end of this much unfiltered positivity in ages.] There's no way I can do less than amazing if you're rooting for me.
[ she'd missed that look. minako can't help herself, especially with how giddy all of this has her, with the admissions made earlier--she leans forward, briefly pressing her lips to yukari's cheek. ]
I'm always in your corner, no matter where I am. Thought you knew that by now.
or at least, she has to be. her heart is going nuts, her skin feels like electricity, and she can barely breathe. that's what it was like, right?
actually, don't answer that question.]
I--I...yeah. Yeah, I knew that. [she wills her brain to come up with something to talk about. anything. as long as it distracts her from the idea that she would be okay with staying just like this forever.]
A-anyway. Do you know anything about this place? Not here, obviously, [she waves her hand in a circle to indicate the simulation,] but the planet?
[ minako resists the urge to laugh at yukari's reaction and hums, thinking for a moment.
it's a pleasant surprise, to feel how easily this all comes. how much the same yukari is, despite her growth. ]
I got a little bit of the spiel from the Moon Knights, but... I probably know about as much as you do. There's some city we're going to after this, I know that much.
Your roommate was a robot, Yukari, you're only figuring that out now? [ yes, that's one of the least weird things to happen to them. that's probably the point. ]
Me too. [she stands and stretches, completely worn out. who knew feelings were exhausting? yukari then holds out a hand for minako.] Let's get outta here.
[ minako takes it, grinning and lacing their fingers together. there's a rough patch of skin on either side of her hand, like a little circle of scar tissue. like something had been driven through it at some point. ]
We're good, turn it off! [ while the projection starts to fade out and she starts them both towards the exit, her grin fades as well. there's one thing she's been thinking about. ]
Do you and the others--did you find out what happened, though, after I...? I know what I did, kind of, but I don't...
[ she's hazy on a lot of the details of what she did and how it works. ]
[she had forgotten this wasn't actually iwatodai. as the dorm fades and the street beneath them begins disappearing beneath their feet, she lightly brushes the rough patch of skin on the back of minako's hand with her fingertips. what--?]
After we found you, Mitsuru sent you to a hospital as soon as possible. We waited for you to wake up, but.... [yukari takes a deep breath.] We still aren't sure what happened. Just that there hasn't been any Tartarus or Apathy Syndrome since.
[ she shrugs one shoulder, nodding at that as they reach the door. minako squeezes her hand before she goes on. ]
I sealed Nyx, like I said. I just don't... really know what that actually means, or looks like. I know it took my soul, my life, to do it, but that's it. I guess the last sparks I was running on were gone, once I'd kept our promise.
[her stomach sinks with each word. that meant that minako was losing a part of herself each day during the last month of her life. the month where everyone except for aigis had forgotten. listening to aigis open up about that time was torture, but this....
yukari is too distracted by the prismal scientists and their many questions after they step through the door to formulate a response. sensory overload is happening in a big way. it's only after they're shepherded into the wilds of the government center that she allows herself to breathe.
looking at minako now, yukari wants to say, 'i didn't want it to be you,' but that feels selfish. everyone felt that way. it wouldn't be fair to claim that sentiment for her own. instead, she asks quietly,] You kept yourself going for us?
[ she's glad for the short reprieve the questions offer, and she looks away from yukari, hoping the trembling of her chin doesn't show. minako tilts her head down a bit, letting her bangs shadow her eyes. her response comes just as softly, voice shaking around the edges, as she squeezes yukari's hand again, heading down the walkway with her. ]
Of course I did. We all promised, didn't we? [ she debates for a second whether to go on and tell her about it. she can't hide the truth from yukari, not at this point. ] I was so tired, Yukari. I don't know if you remember, but I couldn't focus, I was sleeping all the time. I... I was fading, and everything hurt. I said my goodbyes to everyone--to all of you--in those last few days, but I don't know if any of you realized that's what it was...
[ she chuckles, but there's no joy in it. she wonders, passingly, how yukari's meeting with her mother during spring break went. ]
I barely made it to the roof. Aigis held me like that because I couldn't stay on my feet.
[she recalls a short conversation she'd had with a friend in march.
'arisato-san in our class is quiet, isn't she? she always looks tired.... you think she's okay? maybe i should reach out. she lives in my dorm, after all.'
she hadn't. there had been so much to do before graduation day.] We didn't even--we were all so stupid.... [she swallows past the lump in her throat. everything else she wants to say feels trite. what can you even say to who's telling you how they died?
she opts to stay quiet for now, rubbing her thumb over minako's knuckles in a comforting gesture. if she was going to talk, yukari was going to let her say whatever she needed.]
On the 3rd, you know... I really thought some of you were remembering? You guys all remembered you were close to me, but you still didn't remember the Dark Hour, or what we'd done. You--god, I made spring break plans with some of you, even though I... [ she takes a breath. she's not going to cry again, not now. ]
I don't know if you remember, everything was... You wanted me to come with you, when you went to see your mom. [ for moral support, yes, but also... never mind, she dismisses that thought. it doesn't matter now. ]
I remember. [it had been a difficult trip for a variety of reasons yukari didn't even want to think about right now.] ...everything went okay, by the way. Mom and I talk regularly now and we still fight sometimes, but it's better.
[a pause,] Minako...thank you. Not just for helping with Mom, but-- everything.
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sure, she and minako were intense, but yukari liked it that way. she more than liked it. moments like these--just them enjoying each other--she lived for them.
and that intoxicating, giddy feeling whenever she saw minako scared her to death.
yukari is quiet for some time. her voice is quiet when she says,] I told you that you don't have to apologize for anything, Minako. Ever. Things just....
All I want is for you to be happy.
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'don't hang around arisato, she's...' 'have you seen how she acts with that bitch hasegawa' 'look at her taking up sanada-senpai's time, what a...' 'why does she put up with iwasaki anyway?' 'it's arisato, you know why' 'what are arisato and yamagishi doing in there after school anyway? there isn't a club meeting...' 'i saw takeba-san and arisato alone at wuck yesterday...' 'really? i saw them at the arcade last weekend' 'why is kirijo-senpai so friendly with her? you don't think...' 'what does mochizuki-kun even see in her, what does she have that i don't??' 'hey, do you see how arisato and aigis look at each other?'
she exhales, pulling yukari a little closer, one hand stroking her hair now. this is intimate as hell but she doesn't fucking care. ]
I know. [ life never works out how you expect it to. ] I want that for you, too. So... what's going on in your life? Seriously.
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Well, I'm in college now. Somehow Aigis and Mitsuru got me through exams, [she answers with a weak laugh.] My adviser won't let me forget I haven't picked a major yet, though. It's just been busy between classes and my part-time job. []there's the briefest of sheepish pauses before she continues,] I'm a model. And my agency got me an audition for Phoenix Featherman R so.... Crazy, right?
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Oh my god? Yukari-- [ that gets her excited. pride, a little amazement--minako wraps her up in a hug as well as she can for just a moment, laughing and eyes lit up. ]
That's amazing! I bet you're doing great. [ i wish i could be there to see it, she refrains from saying, it's not the time ] Does Ken know you're auditioning yet? And did you narrow down choices for a major at all? [ not chastising, not probing, just genuine curiosity about her friend's life. ]
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You're the first person I've told about the audition, actually. I don't want to get people excited now to have to break bad news to them later. I'm totally letting Ken know once they let me know. Oh, my god, he's going to flip, [she laughs.] As for major, maybe journalism? All the classes I've taken are fun, but it'd be hard to balance with work....
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Look, whatever you end up doing--you're gonna be amazing, okay? I've seen you at your best, I'd know.
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I'm always in your corner, no matter where I am. Thought you knew that by now.
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or at least, she has to be. her heart is going nuts, her skin feels like electricity, and she can barely breathe. that's what it was like, right?
actually, don't answer that question.]
I--I...yeah. Yeah, I knew that. [she wills her brain to come up with something to talk about. anything. as long as it distracts her from the idea that she would be okay with staying just like this forever.]
A-anyway. Do you know anything about this place? Not here, obviously, [she waves her hand in a circle to indicate the simulation,] but the planet?
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it's a pleasant surprise, to feel how easily this all comes. how much the same yukari is, despite her growth. ]
I got a little bit of the spiel from the Moon Knights, but... I probably know about as much as you do. There's some city we're going to after this, I know that much.
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C'mon. Let's get them to turn this off and see what else the station has...? I think I'm ready to go.
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We're good, turn it off! [ while the projection starts to fade out and she starts them both towards the exit, her grin fades as well. there's one thing she's been thinking about. ]
Do you and the others--did you find out what happened, though, after I...? I know what I did, kind of, but I don't...
[ she's hazy on a lot of the details of what she did and how it works. ]
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After we found you, Mitsuru sent you to a hospital as soon as possible. We waited for you to wake up, but.... [yukari takes a deep breath.] We still aren't sure what happened. Just that there hasn't been any Tartarus or Apathy Syndrome since.
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I sealed Nyx, like I said. I just don't... really know what that actually means, or looks like. I know it took my soul, my life, to do it, but that's it. I guess the last sparks I was running on were gone, once I'd kept our promise.
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yukari is too distracted by the prismal scientists and their many questions after they step through the door to formulate a response. sensory overload is happening in a big way. it's only after they're shepherded into the wilds of the government center that she allows herself to breathe.
looking at minako now, yukari wants to say, 'i didn't want it to be you,' but that feels selfish. everyone felt that way. it wouldn't be fair to claim that sentiment for her own. instead, she asks quietly,] You kept yourself going for us?
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Of course I did. We all promised, didn't we? [ she debates for a second whether to go on and tell her about it. she can't hide the truth from yukari, not at this point. ] I was so tired, Yukari. I don't know if you remember, but I couldn't focus, I was sleeping all the time. I... I was fading, and everything hurt. I said my goodbyes to everyone--to all of you--in those last few days, but I don't know if any of you realized that's what it was...
[ she chuckles, but there's no joy in it. she wonders, passingly, how yukari's meeting with her mother during spring break went. ]
I barely made it to the roof. Aigis held me like that because I couldn't stay on my feet.
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'arisato-san in our class is quiet, isn't she? she always looks tired.... you think she's okay? maybe i should reach out. she lives in my dorm, after all.'
she hadn't. there had been so much to do before graduation day.] We didn't even--we were all so stupid.... [she swallows past the lump in her throat. everything else she wants to say feels trite. what can you even say to who's telling you how they died?
she opts to stay quiet for now, rubbing her thumb over minako's knuckles in a comforting gesture. if she was going to talk, yukari was going to let her say whatever she needed.]
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[ she brushes her shoulder against yukari's. ]
On the 3rd, you know... I really thought some of you were remembering? You guys all remembered you were close to me, but you still didn't remember the Dark Hour, or what we'd done. You--god, I made spring break plans with some of you, even though I... [ she takes a breath. she's not going to cry again, not now. ]
I don't know if you remember, everything was... You wanted me to come with you, when you went to see your mom. [ for moral support, yes, but also... never mind, she dismisses that thought. it doesn't matter now. ]
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[a pause,] Minako...thank you. Not just for helping with Mom, but-- everything.
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